TELLSTOY

As man evolved through thousands of years, his hair has been on a journey of its own.  As a neanderthal, he was hirsute.  Body hair was like an armour, which protected him from the cold and the sun.  Observing & learning from the animals, he may have groomed himself with maybe, a tree bark and an occasional swim in the river.  As he evolved through the ages, and became the homo sapien, his body underwent balding, but his head remained in the race.  Earlier with an abundance of body hair, grooming may have been out of a sense of hygiene, as hygiene also ensured survival.  However, once he was left with only some stray locks over his scalp, it became a thing of beauty, but unfortunately, not a joy forever!  Hair today, gone tomorrow!  Man’s vanity increased in direct proportion to thinning body hair.  As the body hair decreased, he discovered his own body underneath and liked what he saw.

Hair is a big part of our face which defines not just how others see us, but how we see ourselves.   In the absence of mirrors, man may have peered into rivers and lakes and tried to pat & tie his tresses into place.  Later with the invention of mirrors, man became obsessed with maintaining what little remained of his hair.  He may have observed the birds shedding their feathers or the monkeys grooming their young ones.  And as has been man’s disposition, he learnt from nature.  It’s very likely our hair obsession may have necessitated the invention of scissors.  Probably, it was gifted by a love-struck man to an unyielding woman.  She may have curiously observed the scissors but once he transformed her tresses into just the right length, she may have even agreed to be his partner.  As in modern days, the word must have spread fast among the women, and this man was now much sought after.  And lo and behold, it also heralded the profession of barbers.      

In the hair feature, the women outdid the men with their thicker, lustrous and longer lasting hair.  For both men and women, hair became a sign of beauty.  Throughout history, we have seen men and women depicted in paintings and carvings with various hairdos and styles.  The high Egyptian hairdo, African braids, Indian plaits, the Chinese buns, the Roman curls …. Mankind has been obsessed with hair since time immemorial.  The ancient people took great effort to decorate their hair with fancy ornaments, crowns, pearls, beads, rings. 

There was a time in the not-so-distant past, when women in India were forced to shear their heads clean, after losing their husbands.  A widow, it was believed, had no right to look attractive if she had no husband who could enjoy her beauty.  It was also because widows were looked upon as a threat to other married women.  What if other men took a fancy to this single woman?  However, they misunderstood men.  Men can lust after a woman irrespective of her hair or absence of it, her education or absence of it, her riches or absence of it, HER WISH or absence of it.  Subtracting hair from her head, did not add to her safety from preying men.  To discipline the men, the widows in our country bore the brunt of injustice for many centuries. 

So, what is it about hair?   From washing hair in rivers and streams, treating hair with natural ingredients, graduating to taps and showers, we have now progressed to hair spas and expensive chemical treatments.  All to keep that crown shining upon our head!

I have a new found respect for those men in black robes wielding their shining scissors and long combs in parlours.  Parlours or “salons” as they are called fancily these days, are intimidating spaces.  Surrounded by shiny mirrors, myriad, coloured bottles with fragrant, magical concoctions, noisy hair dryers, these men in black, have to balance a delicate tight rope.  These men should be publicly felicitated as they have won over a strange woman’s trust.  She surrenders to the snip-snap of his scissors with hope and trusts that he will unveil the hidden beauty inside her. 

However, we know, that there can be many a slip between the hair and the clip.  And hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!  But these men are smart and brave.  They have a set procedure of 2 steps.  First, they proceed to wrap the victim in a protective gown.  You believe naively, that this gown protects your clothes from the hairy mess that will be created shortly.  In reality, these gowns inhibit your movements, in case you suddenly decide to pull at the scissor or exhibit any other such threatening movement.  With step no.1, your physical disarmament is complete.   

Step no.2 – this man gingerly touches your hair and mandatorily mentions the shortcomings– “Madam, aapka hair bahot dry hai”; “Madam, aap hair spa karo na” ; “Madam, aap oil nahi lagate ho kya?” ; “Madam, hamara conditioner le lo, baal ekdum silky ho jayenge”.  Now this man has stepped into hazardous territory – that of, criticizing a woman for her appearance, and that too without batting an eyelid.  Remember, she is not just any other woman, she is the customer and customer is the queen and the customer is always right.  But in this profession, these things are turned on their head.  With step no.2, your psychological disarmament is complete. 

Now these simple men who have never been to business schools, have successfully established that the fault is in the hair; they have plugged their other hair treatments and their glitzy expensive products; and most importantly they have eroded a little of your ego and confidence. 

The ground rules are now set.  They are now free to go about their business.  After you sit through the procedure, staring at the mirror in front through strands of your own hair, finally you emerge to a new you.  Two possibilities loom ahead.  First – you are happy with the result which is a win-win situation.   Second possibility – you are not happy.  But that’s because of your hair care routine and type of hair – the premise of which was initially established firmly.  And you walk out a few hairs less on the scalp and few thousands lighter in the wallet.  

If only God had said, “Let there be hair” and men and women lived happily ever after!